Rediscovering.

The things we lose sight of are best rediscovered in a dark room with our eyes closed and our ears open.
~Ace Enders~
Arthur "Ace" Enders was the lead singer of the now defunct band The Early November, but said this quote when asked what he wanted people to get out of his then side-project I Can Make A Mess Like Nobody's Business. I've quoted this line often for I feel that it truly defines how we really find out who we are and what we are all about. If for just one second we can take away all the distractions in life, the relationships, the money, the greed, the technology, the want and desire, and just be with ourselves...we will discover something amazing. Us. I've talked about this a lot to my friends and family. Who am I and what do I do. During the past four years I spent at Penn State I have truly lost sight of a few things that I held very close to me for the longest time before I ventured into the Penn State life. Religion was such an important part of my life. Sad to say, right now it is not. It is not that I don't want it to be... I just am not in the right mind set to fully take on all that it entails and offers. I lost a few good friends over a few "good" nights out. I couldn't wait to end my time at Penn State for these very reasons. It's so easy to get trapped under the bubble of living in the college life, but it's so hard to get out from under that bubble.
The closest I've come in a long time to "finding" myself again was the 7 weeks I spent living and studying in Rome during the Summer of 2007. I went to Rome with no intentions. No intentions and no expectations. I came home a changed person. Living in a foreign country is the hardest, yet most fulfilling thing I have ever done. I got to experience the freedom of being in 3 countries in a 24 hour period, of standing on top of one of Rome's 7 hills and looking out over some of the most historical land of all time, and to traveling by train through Switzerland with three of my close friends just so we could spend a night sleeping in the Alps in the small town of Gimmelwald. It makes you think..it really does. Who am I and what can I do? Getting out of the United States can offer your a perspective that I, unless you've been in my shoes before, cannot explain. I met some of the greatest people on the face of this earth. I'm convinced of that. Sure, my friends back home are amazing and I would give my life for them tomorrow, but there is something about being "thrown" into an unfamiliar situation with a group of strangers that really draws people together. Almost a year later and I still find myself talking to and spending time with these people on a weekly basis. When I landed in Pittsburgh on June 27th after being gone almost two months, literally on the other side of the world, I sat in the airport in a panic. I knew, from that moment on, that I would never be the same. Here I am however many months later and I am a different person through and through.
I learned to appreciate the small things. I learned to never take anything or anyone for granted. And more importantly, I learned what I valued and believed in at this new point in my life. I believed in the freedom that everyone should have to be able to go out on "that" limb and see the world. What good can do you do for yourself and others if you don't know what else or who else is out there. I always told my friends that I felt if I wasn't secure of confident in who I was, then there was no chance of me taking care of or worrying about anyone else. And I feel that's what Rome did for me. It allowed me to close my eyes and open my ears. Sitting at 10,000 ft. in the Alps and drinking a glass of wine, the wind blowing over you, can afford you that opportunity. It was a chance to break the monotony of Pittsburgh and State College. It was a chance to find something new. As I said though, I went over with no expectations, and I feel that going over in that mindset allowed me to fully appreciate and understand the change that I went through. So my advice is this: close your eyes. Open your ears. Without all the distractions of everyday life you can truly see who you are.